Abusers and bullies use any tactic they can mentally grasp onto to make you feel you’re the one in the wrong. I had a bully boss who fired me so she could give my position to her best friend. I confronted her tonight about the severance pay that she still owes me.
“Oh my God, you’re insane, get help. Enough is enough. Let it go.”
I daresay she would not let it go if she was the one owed $2000.
You are not insane. You don’t need to get help, except for legal help to sue the abusive bully if you’re in my situation. Enough is enough? Not up to them. You’re the one who was abused and had your life damaged. Emotionally. Physically. Financially. You decide if you’ve had enough and want to stop pursuing the matter. You decide whether letting it go is what’s best for you.
Abusers and bullies are scared when you stop being scared. They feel backed into a corner. They can’t control you. Control is what sustains them. When they lose that, they lose control of their own lives.
As we know too well, abusers and bullies can be dangerous to us physically. My bully boss is not. I am not afraid of her. I will go after her legally until she pays me, and I will use the legal system to right the wrong she committed and to teach her a lesson. She won’t do to anyone else what she did to me.
Only you can decide if it’s in your best physical/mental/financial interest to fight back against an abuser or a bully. But you are not insane because you refuse to pretend that whatever happened did not happen. They are not allowed to tell you that enough is enough and you need to let it go. If you WANT to put it behind you, that’s your decision. If you need help putting it behind you, you can get it.
But it’s not up to them. It’s up to you.