I have three New Year’s resolutions:
Stop worrying about offending people who don’t/wouldn’t like the real me.
Spend more time studying and practicing my religion.
Start drawing again every day.
The first encompasses the other two. People have always attacked me or mocked me for my interest in Wicca, to the point that I tried to fit myself into Christianity or at least more “acceptable” belief systems that Wicca. I’m done being mocked. Spending more time studying, practicing, and drawing will mean less wasted time online. It will all help my anxiety and OCD and depression, and it will help my arthritis and hand tremor.
More time practicing my religion will naturally lead to healthier eating by eating fresh, seasonal foods.
Focus on study and practice, I hope, will help with my OCD. I do not expect a cure. I do think that Wicca will help me learn to turn my thoughts to positive things and start to banish these intrusive thoughts that keep me from functioning as well as I could.
I’ve been drawing fairies and goddesses since I was in high school. Over the past couple of years, I’ve bought art supplies but not used them. Just as I’ve bought books and not read them. I’ve felt like an old doll cast into a corner, out of date, out of chances, immobile.
But I’m not a doll (although I’m really fucking tired of whiny losers getting their undergarments in wads over my dolls) and I can start to live again in 2017, and I plan to.
I feel like re-starting that story I started in high school, I feel like taking my camera for a long drive.
I feel like stretching and listening to my joints creak back into movement.